Wednesday, March 30, 2011

E-mail tried to fail me (some art pictures)

So the grading period ended last thursday at my school. That day I e-mailed to my english teacher an essay (200 points) and the citations that went with it (100 points). Without those grades my grade would have been somewhere around an F.
On monday the following week I asked him if he had ever gotten them. He said no. At first I just looked at him for a second to see if he was joking, he wasn't. I looked away and said "well, if you need me I'll be somewhere killing myself because if I don't then my parents surely will." He said that he would still take the paper and fix my grades.
That afternoon as I was leaving for the bus I passed him and said how my grade point average was slowly dying. He told me that he had gone and put in some "filler grades" to raise my grade because it didn't seem fair for me to end up with a failing grade because E-mail had failed me. And he trusted me to get the essay in to him the next day, which I did. So my grade looks like a B now and I've been saved from a horrible death. Let's hear it for TOTALLY AWESOME TEACHERS!!!

Kallista was telling me how I should post some pictures of my art on my blog, so this is what I'm going to do. This is for you Kallista. But all of the art that you will see has been done last year so its kind of old. Once I get my art from this year, I'll post them too (i'm not allowed to touch them because they're all going in the school art show (because the only art that i do is from my art class :P)).

In this we were messing with dimensions and had to have 9 blocks that all stretched toward the middle and the blocks had to be filled with pieces from famous pieces (I don't know the names of each painting that I took from so don't ask). Here are close up views of each block.

In the original painting, this little angel baby was leaning over a ledge while plucking from a violin. I really like how the blending came out in this and I think the wing is really pretty.
(Sorry, it's kind of fuzzy (stupid camera)) The original was of this girl playing the piano and I really liked her hands. The piano was a pain to color because it would have all looked like a blob.

This one was especially hard because I had originally tried to color her dress with orange other colors that would make her kind of look like a clown but the colors looked disgusting. So I had to spend an hour with my kneaded eraser to get all of the color off and then had to color in really deeply with the purple in order to hide the remnants of orange. She's supposed to be holding a book but her hand got cut off and stretched in an odd way.

This is a painting of a ballerina who is getting ready in front of a mirror. I didn't want to bother with drawing with her reflection so I made sure to leave it out. The stretching came out looking funny so now that side of the box looks like she has man hair on her arm. (thank god that didn't show up in this picture)
In this painting, the girl holding the baby was on the side of the painting while that main event was going on somewhere else. I have no complaints about this one.
This was from a painting (i don't remember much about it) where they were outside having a tea party. The purple blob is supposed to be a sheet of some sorts that is falling off of the table.
These are a little girl's feet (in case you couldn't tell). The original is pretty famous, its one of this little girl standing next to this big bush of flowers outside.
The guy-who's hand she's holding-was kind of cut out. This girl is actually to the left in the original painting and the thing behind her is the top of a chair (she's not sitting in the chair, just standing in front of it). The original to this was one of those old colonial paintings. I wish I had changed the colors of her dress and worked more on shading it.
(again, sorry for the fuzzy (stupid camera)) This was one of the first drawings I did on this piece. It's of these two girls playing outside and the yellow behind them id the house that they live in.

I'll show another piece of art later. All together I like how it came out, even thought now that I look back there are some things that I should have changed.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Learner's Test ( i pass but i still fail)

I went to go get my Learner's Permit today. I wake up at like 6 in the f***ing morning and we get there as soon as they open and there already is a line wrapping all the way around the building. I look at my dad and I say "and we get to wait in that." He looks at me and says "one of us has to wait" I'm sitting there hoping he means him.
So i get out and about halfway into the building he finally comes out and waits with me. After more waiting, we get inside, only to wait in a winding line that takes up half of the enormous room.
Halfway through they a lady comes on the intercom and says "People who are here for their Learner's. You are allowed to take the test, but you will not be getting the certificate today." I look at my dad and he laughs at me.
We still go through the line and wait half an hour for them to call my number after filling out all of the messed up paperwork. They call up my number and they have me take the eyesight test. I look into the machine and at first i only see 3 columns with the 2 on the right with letters in them. I say them out loud and after a second or so the guy looks at me and asks me to read the one on the very left. I look again and see that the column on the very left has almost invisible letters in it. Not to mention that my hair is always covering up half of my face so I felt blind as hell trying to see it. It takes me a second but I finally see all of the letters and say them allowed.
He has me stand as he takes my picture and he has me put my head down and I have to keep moving my hair out my face in order to see my whole face (at this point i'm about ready to chop all of my hair off).
I go and I sit down to take the test and I get called up and this blonde chick gets called up right after me. I go to one of the computer's and the first question is "What is you name?" followed by A, B, C, and D, each with different names on them. I'm sitting there going "What?" What happens if I get this wrong? I click on my name and then it asks me my birthday, again I'm like "What?" I go through the questions that make me feel like a retard and about halfway through the questions I look up and I'm like "where did that blonde go?" because she was put right in front of me.
So I finish the actual tests and I only miss like 3. Again another lady tells me that i won't get the certificate today but when i come back i won't have to take the test again. At that I was like "Oh thank God, I can't go through that again." So as we're walking out I tell my dad that I passed and I say "was there ever any doubt?" He says yes. I'm like "What?!?!" and he says how the blonde came out in like a few minutes where I was there for a while. I'm think "so he thought that I failed but just decided to stick around for a while?" I tell him about the question about my name, and I swear he has never laughed harder in his life. I get home and after my mom wakes up (because everyone was so lazy and still in bed) I tell her about what happened and we almost die from it.

The entire time I'm sitting there thinking "look at me, I'm a moron. And I'm the smart one in the family, what does that say about everyone else?"

Now that I've shown that I'm an idiot, go see the new chapter of Mia's Magic.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Snow White's a Bitch

I was sitting in english class the other day when this girl came up and said "i was woken up by birds outside my window chirping, i almost shot them down." I just kind of laughed at her, it sounded like a weird version of a disney movie. And that got me and my friend Angie to thinking how strange the movie Snow White is. Snow goes into a house and cleans the whole place up. She's got animals running around her all of the time and pretending that they could talk. She was dumb as bricks. Then she starts living with 7 strange little men and takes all of their beds, making them sleep in drawers and sinks and Grumpy's sleeping in a pot to cook overnight.
Speaking of Grumpy. she should have kicked his ass out. He was a bitch. But Snow White was too. She knew that Grumpy didn't like him but she just sat there with her stupid grin and blew him a kiss.
And Dopey was a player. Always trying to get Snow White to kiss him.
And Sneezy was going to blow the house down, she should have kicked him out to saying "you're gonna get all of the other dwarfs sick and i can't have that. Plus, if that doesn't happen you're gonna take the house down with one sneeze."
Sleepy was always sleeping!! Kick him out too. If he ain't gonna work then he can go somewhere else.
And Happy.....Happy was gay. Plain and simple. lol
Doc was cool, even though he couldn't talk worth crap.
It can be Snow White and the Dwarf.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I can finally relax (Done with the drama (why do i always have 2 titles for everything?))

Urg, my week has been insane and think is the first moment all week that i've been able to have a little "me time." I've kind of caused it so I deserve to have panicked. The grading period ended at our school today and I've been spending the last few days trying to smoosh a whole month's of work into a few days (damn procrastination). But i've finally gotten the work done and I don't have to keep worrying about my grade point average on my report card.

Oh, and remember how in my last post I was talking about that girl was trying to get rid of me at lunch. Well she got her wish because I shouldn't have to fight with a bunch of freshmen over a stupid seat. I went and got my lunch as usual and I started walking toward the table when I realized that the bitch Shelby was sitting in my seat. So I started heading toward the end of the table where no one was sitting. Suddenly the unknown girl from last post jumped up and started saying how all of those seats were being saved for other people. At that point I was through and I realized that I didn't want to sit with a bunch of bitches who were going to such low levels just to get me not to sit with them.
And I thought this would have been over since I messaged Maddie on Facebook and had her tell me what her damn problem was. Her #1 reason was that she was having a bad week (i don;t care how bad your week has been or how angry that makes you, you do not every try to take that out on me when I have done nothing wrong). One of her reasons was that I always remind them how they are freshmen and thus the bottom of the high school food chain (excuse me if you need to be reminded because you have big egos from being the "big kids" in middle school. This is high school now and you have to start from the bottom again, sorry to disappoint). Another one was that she thought that I thought that I was better than them ( I never said I was better, nor do I think that). One reason was that when I started sitting with them, I had taken "her seat" and the first time she had gotten to sit there was when they had to have a whole game of Keep Away From Tori (I'm sorry, was your name on the seat? its a chair, get over it, there are plenty of chairs at the long table we sit at). And I told as such that some of her reasons had nothing to do with me and and I didn't think that way and she never replied.
But it still went on and I was just done. I remembered how my friend from English class sat in the other cafeteria and took my lunch over there. I asked them if I could sit with them, and they didn't just say yes, they all smiled and made room for me like real friends would. I told them what had happened at the other table and I swear to god that this girl who I didn't know said this "They were all freshmen? Where they at? Over there, girl I'm about to go tell them girls off." I laughed at that and told her not to start anything because they weren't worth it and if they wanted to act like they're so elite and posh then they could do it without me. Now I'm sitting with them and we actually laugh a lot more than when I sat at the other table.

I just realized that I sound really bitchy and mean when I get angry. Just goes to show that you shouldn't mess with me because I can bite back and I bite back hard.:D

By the way I posted more of the story (or I'm going to in a few minutes once I'm done ranting) and you should go read it. I promise that the story gets better, it just takes a while to pick up like a lot of great books out there :D.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Lunch That Turned My Day Around

So I was having a pretty good day, all things considered (having to go to school, for starters). I had just gotten out of driver's ed and was heading to lunch when I started searching my pockets for my lunch check when I realized that I didn't have it (and I couldn't charge lunch because I already owed money). It was no big deal, one day without lunch wouldn't kill me, so I went towards my table (I kept having flashbacks of when I had gotten out of the hospital and I had to sit around all of my friends and watch them eat in front of me for an entire month because I still couldn't eat).
But once I got to the table I noticed that someone strange and unknown to me was sitting in my spot (because you tend to get used to sitting in the same spot at lunch and it becomes "your seat"). I came up to her and told her that she was in my spot, and she gave me this ugly look and told me to sit somewhere else, I didn't even know that girl and I already wanted to call her a bitch. But I went and sat in my friend Rushell's spot. Of course she came up and said I was in her seat and I thus pointed the the reason why I wasn't in my usual spot. Just then the weird girl got up just in time for this girl named Shelby to sit down in that spot (apparently she was saving that spot for her), but that wasn't the case because Shelby then got up in time for my friend Maddie to sit down there (at this point I'm confused and the "seating chart" is all messed up at this point).
Out of nowhere Maddie gets up and looks at me and says "Kenya, Rushell, Shelby, and I talked about it and we don't want you at our table anymore" (Kenya being another one of the girls that sits at the table with us). I just kind of looked at her and i'm thinking where the hell is this coming from? Rushell thus looked and me and denied that she was apart of this. I turned to Maddie and said " well Rushell just denied it, and Shelby didn't start sitting there until after I came along, so she doesn't really get a vote" (at this she said "the hell I do" which I really didn't care because I didn't like her anyway).
Maddie then sat down and for the rest of the lunch period she and Kenya ignored that i existed. I don't know what started all of this because I last saw them on Thursday and everything was fine then (the same happy loud lunch as usual). But it only bothered me for a few minutes because there were a lot of people sitting at the table to talk to and most of them didn't care whether or not I sat with them (keep in mind that I've been sitting at that table since about September).
I didn't pay it much mind until near the end of lunch when everyone started getting up and preparing to go to our next classes Maddie walked up to Rushell and started whispering to her. I didn't hear all of it but it was kind of obvious what they were talking about, that and at one point i heard Maddie say ".....get her to leave our table....." I waited for Maddie to walk away and I walked up to Rushell and asked her if they were talking about me. She said that she wasn't going to take sides and she didn't really know why she was trying to get me to leave either.
And this is coming from one of the girls who I pick on a little bit and make little jokes at, I wouldn't be surprised if she had wanted me to leave but she knew that the stuff I say if just for laughs and I don't really mean it (like when I first met her, I had misheard her name as "Russia" and started to call her a communist every now and then (of course there is nothing funny about communism, but it just sort of stuck after that)). But to my surprise she didn't really care if I stayed or not and we went on with our business. We kind of joked that one of the reasons she wasn't taking sides was that if she went against me she knew I'd probably hurt her (I wouldn't but I have been known to throw things :P).

But what I'm trying to figure out is what cause the sudden switch in behavior. I know that I make jokes at people but nobody ever took them seriously and we would all just move on (the jokes were not even anything personal).

And if I do leave the table, I don't exactly have anywhere else to sit. The main reason I had started sitting there in the first place was because the table before got so crowded that nobody could get past our table and we couldn't even set our food down there was so much stuff on it. If I move now then I'm gonna end up alone and excluded and I feel that way enough as it is, I don't need to feel that way because my so called "friends" are making me feel that way.

After that the rest of my day kind of turned south because I was kind of a little bit moody after that, and a little bit angry which is understandable

I'm gonna go post the beginning of Mia's Magic now so go check for it after you're done reading this newest rant on how suckish my life is :P.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sister at Walmart (1.....2......2 1/2....)

So it's getting around that time when all the stores bring out their holiday stuff way earlier than they should. We were at Walmart yesterday and we were looking at outdoor chairs and stuff. We were all sitting in a chair (my aunt, mom, and I) when my sister walked up. She walked up to a cart and pulled out two chocolate eggs (i mean, like the big awesome looking chocolate eggs) and asked "are these for us?" We looked at her and said "that's not our cart." At that she immediately put the eggs down and sat down with us as the couple who's cart it was walked up and looked at her suspiciously. My mom "said, she thought that was our cart by mistake." The woman looked at her and smiled as she said "We're getting these for our 19 year old son and his girlfriend, do you think they'd like them?" She was so embarrassed that she wouldn't look at the, but nodded in reply. I said "He'll like it. Chocolate is chocolate after all" and the woman agreed.  The man said "I think they're too old for them but she insists that they're still kids, but I say we stop after they get married." My aunt and I looked at him and said "you still have to buy them stuff even after they get married." as they walked away. We started laughing as soon as they walked away and my sister looked angry. We pulled out a bag of mini chocolate eggs and said "don't worry, these are for us." But she wasn't having any of it. She doesn't really like to laugh at herself.

Oh, and do you remember how when your parents wanted you to do something but you were taking to long to do it, they would start counting to 3. I found out what happens when you get to 3 the other night. We were watching tv and my mom wanting me to play with her hair but I wouldn't. She started counting "1..........2.......(at this point i'm smiling and saying "what's gonna happen?")" as soon as she hit 3 she yelled "Erin" in a whiny voice (Erin being my sister). She came up but wouldn't play with her hair either and walked away. She turned back to me and said "2 and 1/2......." At that I laughed at her and walked out of the room.

Which reminded me of the time when we were at our aunt's house and my sis took mom's camera. She started counting and my sister automatically put it down and walked away. My sister is 18 years old and still obeys the counting. Never once has my sis gotten to 3. If only she knew. My mom probably would have called my dad up to throw her into the pond (which he had been trying to do to my mom all day along with a few of my uncles). He actually picked up my mom's chair while she was sitting in it (he had help, he's no superman) and mad it halfway to the pond before he finally put her back down (because he supposedly loves her and knows that she would be mad at him if she got wet (because she was yelling at him all the way down the hill).

As promised, here is the link to the new (oldish) story that I said that I'd be posting. I haven't put up the first of it yet but I still bothered to write something before hand. Something like a prologue even though it doesn't really go with it.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Pokemon (and other games).........(and an announcement)

So everyone's heard about the tsunami in Japan. Well I recently found out that the man who created Pokemon was killed in the disaster. Which is kind of weir since the new Pokemon game just came out like last week. So I was telling my friends these news and nearly all of them gave me a look like I had just told them that I had shot their dog. They were sitting there yelling "NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!! Does this mean no more Pokemon games?" I doubt they'll stop making Pokemon games, especially since Japan is always like three games ahead of us (the Professor Layton games for example (god i love those games)).
And he wasn't the only person making the games, what about the other thousand or so people who made the games. Unless they were all killed too, I don't think Pokemon is dead yet.
But the show sure is stupid. Have you seen it recently, they have so many stupid new Pokemon that just look like ripped off versions of old Pokemon. And what the heck is up with Ash in that show. He's been in every single season for the past 20 or so years (or however long the show has been around) and he still looks like he's 12 years old.
All of this started this big conversation that lead from Pokemon to how stupid some of the characters are in Super Smash Bros (because Super blah blah (name is too long) has some Pokemon characters that you can play as). The main character we talked was Princess Peach. We were talking about how she is such a terrible person to have in a fighting game. For one her dress is ridiculous and PINK, she looks like a barbie who's hair was permanently blown back. Add her fighting moves are ridiculous, i mean, have you seen her? She'll come up and give you the girliest little shove (it can't even be called a shove, what she does) and next thing you know you're flown off the screen to be blown to bits. And there's one move where she rips a toad (from the mario games) out of the ground and throws it at you. SHE ABUSES POOR LITTLE TOAD!!! On top of that you have the ability to pull out her umbrella when you're in the air. She grants you the chance to have a slow fall to your death.

Now that I've gotten all of my Peach out my system, I have a question for you guys. I've been thinking about posting this story that I wrote a few years ago for my English class. It's titled Mia's Magic and it was supposed to be scifi, but i don't really like scifi books so it turned out sounding more like something from Harry Potter. I still got a good grade on it because it had an invention that we don't have yet and the characters actually use it (once.....and only once). Those were the only things we needed in it for it to be considered "science fiction". I actually went really into it and ended up with a short novel and it was really good. It was so long that I didn't even want to print it out because it would have killed an entire tree (exaggerating) so I e-mailed it to him and he actually printed it out and put about 20 staples through it to keep it together (My English teacher wrote all over the printed copy of it with little comments about what I had written and they were actually pretty funny, but I can't find it anywhere which makes me sad :P). I'll be posting it on a completely different blog and I'll have the website for it posted the next time I blog, which knowing me, won't be very long.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Family Dinner (Karaoke)

So when you have dinner with the family every night, you talk about how your day went and have a nice quaint dinner. Yeah, not with my family. We spend more time laughing at each other than anything else.

We were eating dinner and I asked my mom if I could take out the fruit salsa that I had made earlier. She said yes and I went, got it and the pita chips, and started eating it. We started making jokes about how I would just eat it with a spoon (because its freaking delicious). My mom asked me if she could have some, I looked at her and said "no" and put my arms around the bowl protectively. Because I have to go with the joke and I didn't want to share (again, really yummy stuff). But with her being the mom of course she takes some anyway, but not before laughing at me a little. 

Then later after we were starting to clean up my mom asks my sis if she was going to watch the movie Unstoppable with her (that movie with Denzel Washington about the train). Out of nowhere my brother jumps up and says "i know that song, mom you used to sing it all of the time" and starts to try to sing it. Well, it wasn't exactly singing, it was more like this "aaaaaaaaaa  aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh ma I can't breathe laaaaa aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh." He also didn't know the name of the song or who it was sung by which just made us burst out in laughter. We were all laughing and saying stuff like this "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh aaaaaa" "what was it again?" "what the heck are you talking about?" and my personal favorite (because I'm the one that said it) "I can't breathe." He sat there and said "come on mom, sing it, you used to sing it all of the time" She's still laughing and says "why did you say 'unstoppable?' Was it because I was unstoppable when I sang it?" I looked at her and said "or because we couldn't get you to stop singing it" which just added to the laughter. It wasn't until later that we realized that he was trying to sing Behind These Hazel Eyes by Kelly Clarkson. Which at first I was about to say that the words "i can't breathe" aren't even in the song, but i just went and looked up the lyrics and I stand corrected. But after dinner tonight I can't breathe lol.

All of tonight's singing reminded me of the other day in Drama class when a bunch of girls (myself included) jumped up onto he stage and started singing "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" from the Disney movie Mulan. This is pretty normal in our class, especially since we're famous for bursting out in "The Circle of Life" from The Lion King. But this was really funny because once we hit "We are men" we were all ready to fall over and couldn't really remember the words to the song. But (being the dork I am) I had the song on my music player and was able to keep going and lead us to the end (or near the end before the other kids started on a new song). But not even I couldn't remember the words to this one part so we sounded kind of like this "fool..........cut.....GYM!!!" We just kind of yelled out the last word to make it seem like the rest of it didn't sound like complete rubbish (just for the record, I feel kind of proud for sounding british when I just said the word "rubbish" (yes, I am a stereotypical dork)).
And we found out that the man in the song was probably gay to be able to hit that high note when he said the word "moon" because none of the girls singing could hit the note. But it kind of makes sense since in the movie the guy feel in love with a man (granted he was really a she, but he didn't know that at the time).
I then realized how truly bad ass Mulan was. For starters she took her father's place in the war and saved China, but that's only the beginning. She made the General's son gay, turned a bunch of the soldiers into cross dressers, and hung out with a lizard looking dragon thing and a bug.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Driver's Ed. (my dad's a punk)

So I was in driver's education today and today we had a guest speaker. He was a lawyer and he was telling us about what happens when you're caught with alcohol or other drugs. One of the other students asked a question "what if there beer in the back of the car, unopened, and your parent is in the car with you?" He said that if the parent said that the beer was theirs then there wouldn't be any problem. All I could think of is that if I was in the car with my dad in that situation and we were pulled over, my dad would look at the beer, then look back at the officer and say "yep, that her's." He would get me arrested as a joke. And when I told the lawyer that he laughed at me and asked why I would say that, and I said "because when I'm in the car with him and I'm zoning out, he'll slam on the brakes out of no where just to scare the crap out of me. And when  I look at him he'll say "pay attention" and go back to driving." Right in the middle of the road, he'll slam on the brakes to scare me.

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Back up Plan

You ever get that terrible feeling in your gut when you find out you're only second place to people, that they won't realize that you exist until their go-to person isn't there.

I feel that way almost every day of my life.

Being the middle child and the second daughter (not to mention being bi, and loving goth stuff, and having friends who most belong in juvenile hall), I don't get to be able to talk to my mom the way my older sister does. I can't tell her about any girl that I might like without being questioned every time I mention that person's name  (or any name close to that) without being questioned if I like that person, even though I'm pretty sure I've told her about ten times that I don't like that person anymore.
Not to mention that when I go up and try to tell my mom about my day, most of the time I can't get her attention for more than two seconds to even ask a question, just to wait ten minutes for her to ask me "what did you say?" Whether its while she's working, or watching tv, or playing a damn video game while I'm trying to get a school assignment done. Today I tried to tell her about my day while she was watching the bachelor (which was a recording). I wait until the commercial to start but then she fast forwards it through the commercials. I ask her if she can pause it while I'm talking and she says "just because you stop watching tv doesn't mean that everything I do goes on pause" (I was just downstairs watching a show on netflix). I sit there for a few second and the I just get up and walk out of the room. I'm sorry for even trying anymore.
But bring my eighteen year old beautiful sister, who is always going out and seeing friends, my mom will drop everything and listen to every word and won't have to ask about any of the people that my sister talks about (she can't even remember one of my friends names, even though she's met them before and had seen them a hundred times).
Both of them together is even worse because take us shopping and they'll point out every flaw, every dot on my face (I have really bad acne), every part of me that bulges the wrong way (because i'm a little overweight), everything that I'd never even cared about so many times until I just want to go home and sleep my life away in the safety of my bed. Just once I want to feel pretty, to not have to care about whether or not a shirt doesn't always look good on me, to not be in a dressing room with a dress that I really like and then just start crying because I remember that I'll never look good in it no matter how much I wish it were so. I wait for that day when I can walk around in an outfit that people may think looks horrible in me, and I won't care. Because I'll feel beautiful and nobody will be able to take that from me.

And then there's my supposed friends. During Drama class today we were told to pair up and my "friend" Megan C. runs up and asks if I want to be her partner. I look around and ask her where her friend Megan J. went (there are two Megans in our class and their the best of friends, for only knowing each other for this one school year). She says that she went to the bathroom, so she asked me instead. I looked at her and asked her why she would even bother coming to me when Megan J. would be back in only a few minutes. She looks at me and says "sorry that she's my best friend." Yeah, I'm sorry too, after trying to be your friend for about five years and nearly everyday you push me aside until it becomes convenient for you to look at me. She doesn't even call me her friend, after being with her this long and listening to her crap about how her perfect life is so miserable while every guy in this school worships the ground she walks on.
But i decided to be her partner because in that class (if not every class), everyone is divided into their little groups and finding someone to work with them is no problem, and if I don't then I'll be all alone. Or I get stuck with that person who also can't find anyone because their group is an odd number for that once in a blue moon and they look at me like I'm some kind of insect that they are forced to talk to.
This is why I can't ever introduce one of my friends to another one of my friends, because they suddenly become buddies and I'm that third wheel that can't even put in a word in any conversation.
So in most of my classes I just sit there quietly and nobody really notices when I'm gone. That actually happened once, I had just gotten back from the hospital and was going back to school, but when I asked my teachers what I had missed, many of them didn't know how long I had been gone and so they gave me work that I'd already done.

I've become so used to being in the background, that if you put me anywhere near someone who is having their spot light moment, I'll have the urge to move away in order to make room for the people who are actually that person's friends. Because I'll just be in the way and be pushed to the side anyway.

I don't know why i'm letting all of this out here, but I do know that if I don't get this little bit of rage out of me now, I'll end up blowing up everything that I've worked so hard for. Working toward my escape, and my future. That day when I can leave this place and have my own spot light moment.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Stupid People (It's like a mental disorder)

Sometimes I wonder why some people think that they need to act like they have some mental disorder and don't understand why someone is starting to get angry at them and doesn't want to be around them.
There is this girl in my Drama class. I don't talk to her. I know who she is and I know her dad works as a teacher at the middle school we went to but I have never said a bad word about her until today. And it takes til now to be finally fed up with her. One day she turned around and looked at me and said to me "hey Tori, I have a new nickname for you" when i asked her what it was she said that it was "Tor-Whore."
Just for the record, there is nothing about me that would make anyone think that I was a whore. I don't even date. I've only ever had one boyfriend and he dumped me twice.
Today we were put in a group to come up with a scene. We only had these rules; there were three chairs and a table that we needed to use, only one person could be sitting at a time, and the scene had to have a beginning, middle, and an end. Her idea was this; take out two chairs and the table and play musical chairs. Not only did it not sound any way good, it didn't follow any of the rules that we were given.
I told her that it wasn't a good idea and she looked at me and said "then what's your idea," when i said I was still thinking of one she proceeded to say every 5 seconds or so "do you have an idea, do you have an idea, do you have an idea." So once I would get even the tiniest of a thought in my head, it would be interrupted by her annoying voice, which made me want to strangle her and then myself.
I looked at her  and said this "How about this, instead of talking, how about you either use some of the brain cells that you have left to think of something new or shut up for more than 5 seconds." She says "I have lots of brain cells" (really, well you don't use many of them). Then she stayed quiet for 2 seconds and said "and I can be quiet for more than 5 seconds, now do you have anything."
All the while our other partner was just standing there and not putting in any input. Just then his friend walked up and started talking to us (these two guys are the kids that are always getting yelled at for talking and not doing any work). The boy who had just came over asked us what our idea was and the girl told him her idea and then said that i though it was stupid (which i did) and told him how i didn't have an idea of my own. He says "then her idea is obviously better and since i'm the tie breaker, you guys should go with her idea." I glared at him and said "you're not even in this group, go back over there where you belong!" He said he was done, which still didn't explain why he was bothering me. She started going on about how it was so funny how I was easily annoyed by her and how she didn't know what she was doing to make me so mad. "Oh Tori, you're so funny when you're angry HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
At that point class was almost over so i walked over to go get my things while the girl was shouting "I'm so glad we're friends." at me. Around the last minute of class my friend came in and I told him what had gone on and he asked what the person looked like while looking around. I described her and turned around, only to overhear that she was talking about me and what had just happened with all of her little friends sitting around her. She saw that he was looking at her and again started shouting "I'm so glad we're friends Tori." I just ignored her as my friend and i walked away, talking about the rehearsal that he had to go later for the play he was in.

You would think that with her dad being a teacher, she would have a brain in that fat head of her's, but apparently isn't all that great of a teacher since he failed all of his students. :P I wonder if stupid is hereditary, and if so i should probably get tested since some of my family members are the same.